Lyrics to Dr. Steve’s version of Ya Got Trouble

By popular demand, here are the lyrics to Dr. Steve’s version of Ya Got Trouble from The Music Man as featured in Episode #802!

DR. STEVE
(underbreath)
Get ready with the music Fidgert.
(LOUDLY)
It’s a library don’t you understand?! Friend you are either closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge. Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a library in your community.

(Sings)
Well, you got trouble my friend, right here,
I say trouble right here in Boston city.
Why sure I’m a book reader certainly mighty proud to say it always mighty proud to say it.
I consider the hours I spend with a book in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate a big brain, common sense and a mind’s eye.
You ever try to put down a suspense novel when you’re only a chapter from the end?

But just as I say it takes gumption, brains and cognition to finish a well written book,
I say that any dweeb can go and check out a book from the library
And I call that sloth!
The first big step on the road to degra…
I say, first it’s little three page early reader,
Then a full blown chapter book.

And the next thing you know your son is reading for pleasure in his free time.
Listening to some smarty pants librarian hearing’er talk about a new kind of book.
Not a regular kind of book, no, a book without any pictures at all
Like to see some stuck up library boy finishin’ War and Peace make your blood boil?

Well I should say. Now friends let me tell you what I mean.
You got two, four, six, eight, nine, ten
Dewey Classifications
Those classifaction mark the difference between an gentleman and geek
With a capitol G, that rhymes with B and stands for book.

And all week long your Boston City youth’ll be readerin’
I say our young men will be readerin’!
Readerin’ away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Gotta read one more chapter
Nevermind getting rooms cleaned, or the homework done or the laundry folded!
Never mind buying any gifts till their parents are left
with their hands empty on their birthday night and that’s trouble!
Oh yes we got lots and lots of trouble!

I’m thinking of the kids in the playpens
Sweet faces young one peeking in the Library Door after school.

Ya got trouble, folks right here in Boston City.
Trouble with a capital T that rhymes with B and that stands for Book!

Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents.
I’m gonna be perfectly frank.
Would you like to know what kind of conversations go on after they finish their latest book?
They’ll be talkin ’bout Characters, Talkin bout Setting,
Talking ’bout Literary devices like Scholoarly fiends.
Then braggin all about how their gonna write out a book report just for the fun of it.
One fine night, they’ll leave the Library headed for the campus at the college!
Fraternity Men! Sorority women and Credit Card applications that’ll drag your son, your Daughter,
To a debt the likes of which no man has seen yet!
MasHysteria!
Friends the lerned brain is the devils playground!
Trouble!

TOWSFOLK
Oh we got trouble!

DR. STEVE
Right here in Boston City!

TOWNSFOLK
Right here in Boston city!

DR. STEVE
With a capitol T and that rhymes with B and that stands for Book!

TOWNSFOLK
That stands for book!

DR. STEVE
We surely got trouble!

TOWNSFOLK
We surely got trouble!

DR. STEVE
Right here in Boston City!

TOWNSFOLK
Right here!

DR. STEVE
Got figure out a way to keep our children dumbed down after school!

TOWNSFOLK
Our children’s children gonna have trouble! Trouble…trouble…trouble….(repeat)

DR. STEVE (spoken)
Mothers of river city! Heed that warning before it’s too late! Watch for the tell tale signs of corruption. The minute your son leaves the house, does he slip on a pair of new reading glasses? Are there newsprint stains on his index finger? A book mark hidden in the corn crib? Is he memorizing words out of Roget’s Thesaurus? Are certain phrases creeping into his vocabulary? Phrases like, “It was the best of times.” and “Happily ever after?” Well if so my friends…
(sings)
You got trouble!

TOWSFOLK
Oh we got trouble!

DR. STEVE
Right here in Boston City!

TOWNSFOLK
Right here in Boston city!

DR. STEVE
With a capitol T and that rhymes with B and that stands for Book!

TOWNSFOLK
That stands for book!

DR. STEVE
We surely got trouble!

TOWNSFOLK
We surely got trouble!

DR. STEVE
Right here in Boston City!

TOWNSFOLK
Right here!

DR. STEVE
Remember that there’s no one thinks that reading is cool!

TOWNSFOLK
Our children’s children gonna have trouble!

DR. STEVE
Oh ho we’ve got trouble, we’re in terrible, terrible trouble, closing down the library deserves a second look!

TOWNSFOLK
Second look!

DR. STEVE
Oh yes we’ve got trouble, trouble, trouble

TOWNSFOLK
Oh yes we’ve got trouble here, we’ve got big, big trouble.

DR. STEVE
With a T!

TOWNSFOLK
With a capitol T!

DR. STEVE
Gotta rhyme it with B!

TOWNSFOLK
That rhymes with B.

DR. STEVE
And that stands for book!

TOWNSFOLK
That stands for book!

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